Early in my career, I felt annoyed by people who were constantly predicting my future in a negative light. For many people, I was a loser. I always dreamed big and worked hard towards my dreams. Looking at how hard I worked and how big my dreams were, some people sympathised with me. Some people thought I was a fool. Some people thought I was a daydreamer. For others, I was a joke. All these people had different predictions about me; most of them — if not all — were negative. So don’t underestimate the influence that your surroundings have on you, to determine who you are. If not handled properly, it doesn’t require a long time to transform your life in a way that aligns to the prediction of others — or, your surroundings.
*Leaving this note to let you know that I am sharing my life experiences with people who have bigger dreams. I don’t have much to offer for chronic complainers and negative people, in fact, I stay away from them.
It was not just the negative vibes that revolved around me, but many people evaluated my long term plans based on short term results. I realised that the harder I tried to address their concerns, the quicker I drifted away from what I wanted in life. I didn’t see a reason to change from who I really am and what I really want from my life just so I could impress others — or, the world. So, before it got too late, I decided to change my flock until I found the right birds to fly with.
It’s important to be disciplined when deciding what you really want in life; it needs time and great information. I didn’t want to conclude what my life was going to be with the limited intellect I had. So I had to listen and observe other people. Those people have a name. I give them one. They are my “qualifiers.” They, these qualifiers are whom I can get quality information and tangible predictions. They are successful in life.
Because I wanted to determine myself, I decided to divide people into two categories, ensuring my takeaway from their association is relevant.
1. Wrong numbers: People with envy, jealousy, ignorance, small-minded and know-it-all personalities; annoying and offensive personalities; people who took the mickey out of me and my dreams.
2. Indicators: Wonderful people who respect hard work; who create jobs; who know the difference between pride and vanity; who take risks; who fight poverty; who love humanity; who never give up; who respect people; who read books; who look after their health; who talk the talk and walk the walk.
I ignored wrong numbers and spent more time with indicators. I made it clear not to react to wrong numbers, or accept their compliments; if you reach to them or let them compliment you, you become one of them. I hardly get into discussions with wrong numbers. I don’t give them my opinion. If conflicts occur, I let them win, and let them feel good about themselves; I have nothing to prove to them. To put it simply, I keep them away. I have noticed that as time went by, and as I got stronger and my goals got more tangible, these wrong numbers disappeared from my life.
On the other side are, the indicators. When indicators make comments or predictions, those are constructive. I am a good listener and an observer in front of indicators. I just love meeting these wonderful people. They may not always make positive predictions, but their predictions are mostly well-reasoned opinions, so I could learn and fix myself whenever I make an error. I keep looking for indicators. I’m trying my best to become one of them.
However, there is no easy way of deciding who is who. This comes with experience. There is always room to fine-tune the process as you gather more experience.
Remember it’s not easy to spot wrong numbers. You can’t spot a wrong number if you haven’t seen one before. If you are only having wrong numbers in life, just deal with them now. It’s important to learn from the mistakes and understand common characteristics of wrong numbers, and then you can avoid them. Slowly but surely, you will see you are attracting indicators. In the long run, you will see wrong numbers disappear.
It doesn’t matter how hard it's going to get, don't let irrelevant people decide your future for you. It’s your life and the decisions should be taken by you. That's how I did. But make sure you have genuine hunger for success, and that you are not an irritating or an offensive person. Make sure you know what you are doing.
I have hardly seen successful people who are surrounded by bad people or bad people who are surrounded by successful people. So it’s your decision whom you really want to be surrounded by. It’s also your decision to be a wrong number or an indicator. It’s your choice to be a success or a failure. It’s your life and it certainly is your call.
Thanks for your time. Love to all!
Hasitha Rodrigo
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