Monday thoughts—2
Love is something I have always struggled to understand. What is it really?
Well, it all depends on where you position yourself.
At the early stage of my career, when it comes to “love,” my world was quite confusing. But then, it’s easier here—there are a lot of people like me here who don’t really get what love is. Since the majority of us didn’t know what it was, it was easier to pretend like we all knew about it—no one questioned. No one bothered.
The world I lived in was very money-centric. My perception of “love” had very minimal—if not, neither natural nor emotional—inputs. My perception of love was tied and pulled by cultural influences, expectations, and conditions. To be brutally honest, in the world I was living in, I didn’t see any strong link between love and success. They were all just pretty achievable commodities as long as I played the game right, and, of course, had money.
I thought I was in the process of becoming a rich rock star, but in reality, in the long run, I realised that I was becoming a mentally imbalanced, emotionally useless, unhealthy human being who was potentially going to die with a lot of money and fake relationships. So I decided to rehabilitate myself. I desperately wanted to find where I belong.
I got lucky. I got another chance to live.
At the age of 32, I got a chance to explore life again. It was all thanks to my best friend, Champ (Champ is my first dog in the UK, after him, two more dogs joined my pack). The thing with Champ was that there wasn’t anything to pretend. I didn’t need to waste my brain or my energy to alter my ego, maintain my social status, or to attract fake relationships. So, for the first time in my adult life, I got a chance to go for a walk with someone with no conditions attached; all that we had for each other was genuineness.
Champ didn’t care how successful I was; he didn’t care what I wore; he didn’t care whether I was rich or poor; he didn’t care whether I could buy him an expensive collar or not. Champ needed no luxury, alcohol, lies, tales, fictions, or gifts to play like no one else was around him. Our bond was unconditional. To my brain, this was a new experience. Champ talked directly to my brain; he awoke some pleasure receptors and neurons—they’ve been sleeping for a very long time.
The more time I spent with him, the more my brain figured out the importance of being loved genuinely and to love genuinely. My brain was surrounded by the new elements: Trust; care; and responsibility. I fell in love with how my brain reacted to this new experience.
So I didn’t want to go back to my synthetic world. But there was a cost. I had to reposition myself, my surroundings, and my motives. I got rid of a few close people including clients who paid me well. I had to redefine what success was, and this time, it was more than being money-centric. I let love, trust, and genuineness surround my brain all day long.
As a result, during the last three years, I improved my business skills more than ever. I became healthier. More than anything else, I became who I am, and slowly, I’m finding the birds of a feather to flock together.
And finally, I feel like I am living.
So is there a link between love and success?
It all depends where you want to position yourself. Life gives you what you ask from it. So make sure your requests are made when you’re conscious. When I asked for fantasy, it took me through fantasy. When I asked for reality, it took me through reality. I didn’t like the synthetic, fictionalised world, so I decided to stick to reality.
I feel that love has a significant role, from everyday life to a much deeper sense of biological chemistry to create healthy, joyful creatures. And I find that’s what matters the most in the context of success.
So let me start the Monday with our usual walk with my boys in the woods. Let them teach me to be loved, and to love. And one fine day, I hope I can write mindful thoughts about love and pen the story of my successful life.
Have a wonderful week ahead.
Hasitha Rodrigo.
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